Treasure

Somedays I think about age and then I think about you. 

And how you held my tiny hand, tighter then what I can imagine.

And how you would scream when I was no longer in your sight. 

And 3, 2, 1, I appeared. 

You grabbed me by my shoulder with me enveloped into the warmth of your womb.

 How quickly have I turned into a woman , yet your frame reflected the proliferated body of vulnerability, tenderness, fragility and the lost of voice.

I look and what I finally saw was a head that sent out instructions full of mistakes and your silhouette, frozen in gray time. 

Yet , a heart of compassion a heart of unwavering love, love towards my flaws my ugly-self my wounds my pains my heartbreaks my screams my shouts my cries my troubles my sorrows my blissfulness my contentment my appreciation my bones my blood my soul.

You are there for all of me.

And i remember you told me " find someone that will love you more than you can love him." But how am I able to find 'him' if time chases us and you wouldn't be my bright eyes to choose the right lover.

A prodigious number defines cruelty. I had bad thoughts. Bad thoughts of how I will return home with an empty room --a smoke-filled room. 

I will shout for you. 

But 3,2,1

If you never appeared.

Where have you been.

I hope I wouldn't ask.

My dear,

Help me forget the bad thoughts, help me forget the dimensions of survival.

I will love you like the moon who shines for the stars.

I will love you like the stars who shines for  planet earth.

I will love you with all my life.

 

For, you are my bravest grandmother.

For, you are there for all of me.

(And here's a little snapshot of granny rocking the golden brogues I bought that got her intrigued.)

XX,

Mood: warm gold