Mirror- A note to myself
As I threw myself into the outside world I finally lived in their atmosphere, felt the world,mirrored myself and dropped into a crevice of emptiness. Work and relationships, people. I get to understand what adults spoke about. Experience is what they have, it is always true that we need to, lower our heads and listen to what they have to say. They talk about the harsh society and most of the time, they are right.
I have seen people from all walks of lives. They tell me their stories. Some are depressed; some are joyful ; some are filled with hatred ; some lead their lives in the present without looking backwards.
And each story I heard travels me back to a scene etched deep inside my mind:
At the MRT interchange where I walked past an old lady. Debilitated and feeble. Yet she collects the unwanted cans yet she sits there under the sweltering hot sun selling away as many tissue packets she could. Her frugal life makes my heart wound yet all I could do was to offer her cash. And I wondered why would she tire herself, couldn't she treat herself a little better, couldn't she spend her evening with her daughter/son or is it that they do not even dare to touch a single strand of her gray hair not mentioning to hold her hand.
Well I thought again.
Not everyone in this world is fortunate. Not everyone has a roof above their heads, not everyone has a bed to rest in, not everyone has a happy family to live with, not everyone has a chance to breathe/see/talk/move/hear/feel tomorrow.
What the old lady is going through may fall under one of these categories. And You may say this is the same old story about values about appreciation. But those value lessons that you learnt from school do you retain them? Do you practice them? Or do you forget them when your science teacher walks in the next period with a pile of electrolysis worksheets?
So why are we still running far away instead of taking baby footsteps towards awareness. Awareness That Appreciation starts from the moment you open your eyes and watch the morning light seep in through the windows. That you are breathing that your heart is thumping loud enough so loud you could hear with both ears shut. That the old lady isn't going to lead a wasted life, she is crafting out a pathway she is confident of walking on.
There are people who stopped breathing because of age because of family because of depression because life played an unfair game with them.
Mirror yourself. If You have a shelter awaiting you, you are the lucky one. I am thankful for the stories I hear, the things I went through, the great people I met. The people I met that made me distinguish the good from the bad, who are real or who are masked, who I love, the ones who need me and the ones I need.
On a side note, I lost my phone a couple of days ago. It was painful. Many memories stored in it are all gone because the person who picked up the phone decided not to return. I believe Justice will prevail. Because of that I also lost a few blogposts I wanted to share. But I wouldn't elaborate further about the incident or the aftermath. I just mirrored myself , i knew what I need to do/change.
And this will be a note to myself. The moment I open my eyes, I will look into the mirror, if I can breathe, if I can see, if I can remember who I love and who I am afraid to love ; I'm thankful for I'm alive.
XX,
Mood: warm beige
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