State of mind

When the skies are pink and blue and my heart has all the words it wants to spill.

Lately, I have been missing out on many things. And one of the things is keeping in touch with my realest feeling of staying contented.

 

I'm either stagnant or I'm moving backwards. And I am still confused about what to feel if I have to leave. Maybe confused is not a word to show intensity, I feel miserable. I can't stop having flashes of all the things I could have done right here right now. All the faces that left an imprint in my head, all the eyes that talked to me and all the landscapes that pulled my heartstrings. 

They are all in my mind.

I understand that they told me to be brave so I did find panaceas. But I am trying so hard every single night I hate I'm still collapsing. I try to mask myself in the morning but it falls off in the night. I have no control over my tears, maybe I need the alcohol running in my blood. And I don't think anybody knows what it is like to feel the way I feel. 

It's 2am. There comes the spirits in my head that never go. They are always here, right inside of me, crashing waves at 2am. 

Put me to sleep

I want to stop feeling 

I want to stop crying 

I want to dream of sunlit skies.

A.T.

Thin lines

Lately life is becoming a blur.

But you need to find your bearing.

 

And you mustn't be dictated. 

For you will only achieve one skill: self-destruction

Escape to your hideout-- Hunting down Skylines and exotic landscapes 

To unravel your blur lines

To elevate your soul above 

xx, 

A.T.

19/5/2016

I will find my bearing I promise

Head and Heart

I didn't want to think of it 

and

I didn't want to lose myself 

but

I have no control of my own systems. 

I should really start understanding myself. 

Let myself know I can embrace a person, only when I'm ready to not 

feel vulnerable again. 

xx,

A.T.